Thursday, July 24, 2014

Best. Call. Ever.

Wake up at 3:22 am to the sound of a dog howling. Get her calmed down.

4:00, decide sleep was no longer an option. Boot up computer to goof off. Hear a wet farting sound behind me to see a dog having a diarrheal episode. Throw her outside, where she has more and then wipes her butt on the grass. Turn around to realize that I've locked myself out of the house. Get into the garage, banging leg against lawnmower. Find the lightswitch so I can find the #$%&^%^^*$##$@$$%&^% key.

Let myself back into the house and let the dog back in. Gather supplies to clean up living room. Enter living room to find our dipshit lab trying to EAT the mess. Start yelling and wake the husband up (again). I'm dry heaving as I'm cleaning up the mess. He takes over. I go into kitchen to find coffee.

At 7 am, decide that dozing sounds like a great idea...The newest dog jumps into bed. Fine. Until she pees on the bedspread. FML.

By this time, I've decided that I'm just going to sleep on OB from now on.


Anonymous said...

3 dogs too many?

Anonymous said...


You may appreciate this story then...
After coming home from the hospital with baby #1, the hubby and I decided we should try to give him some sort of sponge bath. Having no idea what we were doing, this was a long process that involved hubs holding/cradling baby in one arm over the bathroom sink while I gingerly tried to sponge him down. Then, baby boy pooped and pooped some more with my husband howling that poop was all over his arm! This took a while to clean up in between the laughter and since I was 4 days PP, I peed on myself laughing so hard! By the time we got all of the inappropriate poop and pee cleaned up- we went to the living room to find that the dog peed by the front door! LMAO! (We can laugh about it now at least!)

At 32 weeks with baby #2 and let's just say that we WONT be doing that again! LOL.