Friday, July 31, 2009


Years and counting. I still can't believe you put up with me, sweetie. I love you.


Homeward bound

I'm finally starting to feel like this small town is my home. I've been here 3 years now, delivered around 700 babies in that time, and am finally starting to figure out the relationships between the various families in the area. Knowing a person's last name around here is a strong clue as to which little village she resides in. And I'm finally starting to just know those things. I'm using the local slang for the names of these "towns".

I came here as an outsider...not related to anyone within several hours drive. I'm learning the rhythm of this particular small town. Who is related to whom and how (my head will still occasionally hurt trying to follow the pattern).

My son doesn't remember the house we lived in during residency hell. My daughter vaguely recalls it. They will grow up thinking of this as their hometown, not Michigan. DH and I know all of the back roads of Muskegon county...I don't know them that well around here. Yet.

But for them, this is where their thoughts will escape to, to quote Simon and Garfunkel.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Quote of the Day

From a mom, bringing in her daughter to me for birth control:

"Her dumb-ass father let her be alone with a boy!"

Tuesday, July 28, 2009


As in decision. Tomorrow Mom has an appointment at Mecca. I can't go, thanks to my cross-coverage being in Wyoming. grrrrrrrrr. And Mom told me of the appointment last week. I reminded her that Wednesdays are my OR day and that day is therefore difficult to reschedule. Plus I need more lead time than that, my schedule isn't nearly as flexible as my stay-at-home sister. It takes effort for me to get a day off! But that's a whole 'nuther rant.

So I'm sending ER's Dad up to Mecca to scout. He and I have had quite a few long discussions, so he knows my position well. If I know my sister, she'll want every thing possible to be done and I'm against that. We had this argument with our dad...

My nurse volunteered to babysit the rugrats (she works 4 10 hour days so that she has my OR day off). I'm very lucky to have her. My kids think of her as another aunt.

Last week, Mom got irradiated from head to toe - CXR, CT of abdomen/pelvis. She's hopeful that the chemo did something so that the tumor will be resectable. I'm more skeptical...out of 9 doses, she received a total of 2. She had severe marrow suppression, which was why many of the doses were canceled. We'll see.

I'm no longer allowed to ask "What else can go wrong?"

Tomorrow is going to suck. I looked at the charts for the surgeries, nothing easy, no chip-shots tomorrow.

Monday, July 27, 2009

ER's Mom in the ER

I have passed a parenting milestone, of sorts. The first broken bone.

Poor little man, howling loudly. My last name is very unusual, so as soon as I signed him in, the question was asked :Are you Dr. Last Name?

sigh. Yes.

I don't like pulling strings, but this time was nice in that we were whisked back quickly. Of course the 250+ decibel, inconsolable crying probably helped too. I noticed the door to the bay we were in was shut also. The boy's lungs were displaying their considerable power. ;)

I'm thinking we just hit our deductible, between the XRays, ER visit, and casting. Plus the f/u appointment today with the peds doc. Who was laughing at me.

The boy now has another doctor to add to the list of ones he doesn't like. The ER doc for trying to examine his arm, his peds doc for giving him least he still likes me. ;)


And counting...hours until I'm off call.

I've gotten only call tonight :Asking about the forms for free electricity that need to be filled out.

I refused that call from the call center. I was enroute to home, far away from the office and the chart. What part of EMERGENCY is not being comprehended here?

Had a call last night. "I think I'm in labor."

Me : Why?

Patient: I'm having these pains.

Me : How long?

Patient: Over a month now.

Me : You're not in labor.

Patient : But it hurts!

Me : You are not in labor. We can see you tomorrow if you're still hurting, but labor generally doesn't last a month.


Saturday, July 25, 2009

Happy 0th Birthday

Little Jeremy! I get to go and buy all sorts of cute baby clothes for my new nephew!

A new one

Delivered a boy via c/section this week. I had to do a footling breech extraction, since the kid was in transverse position.

Kid comes out showing some self-lovin', if you know what I mean. He was really grabbing and pulling! The scrub nurse and I just burst out laughing.

Dad's comment : I guess he's starting young.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Bring on the stupid

Sigh. It's not even 8 pm on Friday.

Phone calls since 5 pm:
1. I've been having pains by my ovaries for weeks.
-----Call the office on Monday
2. I'm contracting a lot
-----How often?
Usually every hour.
-----When they are 5 minutes apart, go to L&D. Just like I've been saying in the office for a few weeks now.
3. I'm having stomach pain.
------What kind of pain?
I don't know, in my stomach.

It's going to be a long 10 days until my cross-coverage is back from his vacation. Dingbats 1 & 3 were from his practice.

Why OBs can't keep to a schedule:

Monday - multiple people walk in to the hospital in labor.

Tuesday - crash c-section in the middle of the day

Wednesday - my induction scheduled for Friday shows up (cool! don't have anything on Friday now!)

Friday - woke up thinking I could wander in at any point, since I don't have office hours today but nooooooooooo. Cross-coverage texts me : primp at 7 cm.


I counted - only 5 left due for this month.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Now I remember why residency sucked

Because earlier this week I had a resident-like call : 6 deliveries, 7 babies, 21 hours. One set of twins mixed in for funsies. L&D was distinctly unhappy with me. When I rounded today, I jokingly suggested going to the local chocolate shop so I could bring a peace offering. The tech and charge nurse put in orders!

And it blew chunks. As well as a huge hole in both Monday and Tuesday's schedule since Monday pm was spent babycatching and by the time Tuesday rolled around, I needed to cancel since I was still catching them.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Two more hours...

Until DD and I go on a girls' date to see Harry Potter 6!

And pig out on popcorn!

Sad thing is, the last movie I saw in the theater was Harry Potter 5.

I think I am officially lame. :)

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Bad Sign

Your doctor - upon signing out to her cross-coverage for the weekend - mentions your name and that you are a frequent flyer.

And the cross-covering doc already knows who you are because you come in EVERY SINGLE NIGHT for the last 2 weeks. Sometimes twice in one night.

And the L&D nurses, upon paging me ask "Can you guess who's here?" When the night nurses know who you are, it is NOT a good sign.

39 weeks can't come soon enough. Because the reason for your induction is our sanity.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Don't get mad

When I won't see you because you showed up at 4:40 for your 3:30 appointment.

On a Friday afternoon.

People are still good

Emily, my cousin's daughter is getting her wish granted. Iron Chef Morimoto is cooking her a meal and skyping her this week.

I love the Food Network and Iron love for them has just gone up immensely.

The L&D nurses are being very overprotective of me right them dearly.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009


So I asked my hubby the other day "What happened that turned me into this raving, bitchy person?" And he reminded me of a page I got a few years back...I had completely forgotten about this one. But it's a good one.

It's 1:12 am. I am home, in my bed, asleep. Like a normal person. My pager goes off. It's the operator with a phone call. Yawn, please transfer me to it.

"Hi there, I'm Dr. Wantstosleep. How can I help you?"

"I dropped my pills in the toilet."

"You dropped them into the toilet? What kind of pills?"

"Birth control pills."

"Still in the packet?"


"Well, get them out, wipe the back with some alcohol and take them."

"That's gross. Can't you call in a refill?"

"Do you have refills left on the prescription?"


"Call the pharmacy yourself and get the refill filled sooner."

"Medicaid won't pay for it."

"Buy it yourself or check in the morning to the clinic."

"Can't you get me some samples now? I need it for my cysts"


"Oh, I thought you were working at the hospital."

My husband is shaking, he is laughing so hard at my half of the conversation. It took me over 20 minutes to get this dingbat off the phone.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Levels of crazy

Been thinking about this for awhile. I now have the "ER's Mom Official Guidelines for Assigning Levels of Crazy".

1. Normal. They exist, even constitute the majority of patients. They make poor blog fodder however, so you wouldn't know that that they even exist from reading any medical blog.
2. Crazy. These are the "fun crazy" folks. A little off, but you don't cringe when you see them on the schedule.
3. Bat-shit crazy. Your stomach drops a little when you see the name on the schedule.
4. Fucking Nuts. These folks seem intent on driving YOU nuts too.
5. Mouth agape and head shaking. You are lost for words upon meeting these folks. Fortunately, they are rare.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Battered and Bruised

Is what my family is feeling lately. Emily got her stem cell transplant last month. And yesterday, we got news that her ALL reoccurred. 1 week after she turned 14. This is now her 5th relapse.

My mom has yet to complete a cycle of chemo her cycles of Gemzaar and cisplatin are in groups of 3. She is very intolerant of cisplatin - or more accurately the amount of IVF needed - so it was switched to carboplatin. At any rate, she has had 2 doses (not rounds, DOSES) of chemo. It's now been 8 weeks. She goes Thursday for another dose...assuming it doesn't get scrubbed for whatever reason (last time was thrombocytopenia, time before was for neutropenia/sepsis, lather rinse repeat).


Monday, July 6, 2009

20 years

Grandma. You are remembered.