Thursday, October 1, 2015

Now it's personal

Mountains driving into Roseburg.

Driving around rural Roseburg

A winery near Roseburg

When are we going to stop our national insanity? These are some pictures from my recent trip to Roseburg, OR. Gorgeous small town. Lovely scenery. Now infamous for yet another mass murder site. I'm sick and tired of hearing this. I went to Roseburg for a girls' weekend (hence the winery picture). I visited my son's godparents (and their kid, my future daughter-in-law). First thing I do after seeing reports: text my friend to make sure she or her husband and daughter were no where near the college.

Why should this be a frequent occurrence? Why can't we have some reasonable conversation about guns? WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

And feel for those ED and surgery doctors there - this is a small town, 1 hospital. It would overwhelm everyone to have suddenly that many serious traumas brought in. They are going to be having nightmares.

Tuesday, September 8, 2015


Please don't check your cervix yourself.

At 18 weeks.

Please. I can't handle keeping a straight face.

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

OK People

If you are going to wake me up at 3:56 am, it better be good.

NOT for pain that you've been having for a few weeks.

Tuesday, July 14, 2015


OK, 2015 should not be half-done.

I hate spontaneous abortions.

Especially as the last patient of the day.

I hate being a patient.

Especially since I know I'm a horrible one.

I love seeing the newborns at the 6 week postpartum visit.

I hate not having my usual m.a.

I'm honored that some people trust me with their feelings as much as they do.

I'm so not good at psych stuff.

We needed more training in residency.

Pregnancy is NOT a reason to be on bedrest.

Oh, don't you EVEN go there about me not knowing about working whilst in pain.

Trust me, I've worked through worse.

My partners are fucking nuts.

Seriously nuts.

I'm just as bad.

England was wonderful.

And yes, they spoke English.

Kids are tired of seeing ruined castles.

Why was I stupid enough to volunteer for another hospital committee?

Friday, June 19, 2015

Even on my days off...

So today I'm running errands before we leave for our family trip to London. I take my daughter to the orthodontist to recheck her retainer.

The tech, making small talk, asks my daughter if she had any plans for the summer.
"We're going to England tomorrow."
"Really? So do you speak the language?"


Saturday, June 6, 2015

Bang my head

Caller #1: Goes on and on and on about a nothing symptom - it's normal 3 days postpartum to bleed. I tell her this multiple times over the course of the 10 minute call. I finally hang up, since it's obvious she's not listening to a word I'm saying.

Caller #2: Diarrhea at 2 am is not an emergency, but take some Immodium.

Caller #3: Term pregnancy, thinks her water broke. Me: Go to OB. She then starts in on 50 million other symptoms. Me: Go to OB. She then tells me about her discharge. Me: GO TO OB. Her - well what if my water isn't broke? Me: Just go to OB.

I fucking hate call.

Tuesday, May 19, 2015


I hate 3 am deliveries.

I hate 4 am deliveries.

I really hate 5 am deliveries.

I hate my shit magnet status.

I wish laboring patients would come in for my partners and not me.

Seriously, why do they all come in for me? (in fairness, I have one other partner who has similar luck)

6% section rate? REALLY? REALLY?!?!?!?!?!?

This weekend killed my 0% episiotomy rate, however. Oh, well. Everyone came out the intended route.

My vacation cannot come fast enough.

I'm sick of post-menopausal bleeds. Lately I've been the D&C queen.

I hate computers.

I LOATHE meaningful use.

Got my first 2016 EDC patient this week.

Being a high-maintainence drama queen will kill office morale quick.

Being the easy-going one means you get walked upon.

I hate vag hysts.

But I got a nice compliment from multiple OR nurses - they tell me I do a nice vag hyst & if they need one, they'll have me do it.

I daydream about GYN only sometimes.

I am not a miracle worker.

No, I did NOT know about crazypants' heroine use while pregnant. Hell, I didn't even KNOW she was knocked up again.