Thursday, August 28, 2014

Tired

Of people assuming I'm stupid because I'm female.

Of teens who show up 30+ weeks pregnant.

Of my house being a flipping disaster.

Of administrative bullshit. I may have told a VP of the hospital that he was a roadblock to progress.

Of always being asked to pick up extra.

Of my stupid ortho injuries. Yes, plural.

Of pushing with first time moms at O'dark o'clock.

gah. Thanks god for a long weekend.

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Venting

Why the HELL do people think a degree from fucking Dr. Google trumps my experience and education?

I went to med school for 4 long years. I then did a residency for another 4 incredibly long and painful years. I have been out of residency for 8 years. I know shit. I know OB. I've done thousands of deliveries. I can tell you what is likely to happen if we do things your way. Doing things my way leads to a HIGHER chance of a vaginal delivery!

SO FUCKING LISTEN TO ME when I make a recommendation at 8 am. And then you won't have to be telling me at midnight "You were right." DAMN STRAIGHT.

Thursday, July 31, 2014

Lucky

Have had several days recently where every patient was NICE.

All toddlers were cute and so proud of "their" baby.

New patients almost completely (and correctly) worked up by the referring physician.

Surgeries that go exactly textbook.

I just jinxed myself.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Best. Call. Ever.

Wake up at 3:22 am to the sound of a dog howling. Get her calmed down.

4:00, decide sleep was no longer an option. Boot up computer to goof off. Hear a wet farting sound behind me to see a dog having a diarrheal episode. Throw her outside, where she has more and then wipes her butt on the grass. Turn around to realize that I've locked myself out of the house. Get into the garage, banging leg against lawnmower. Find the lightswitch so I can find the #$%&^%^^*$##$@$$%&^% key.

Let myself back into the house and let the dog back in. Gather supplies to clean up living room. Enter living room to find our dipshit lab trying to EAT the mess. Start yelling and wake the husband up (again). I'm dry heaving as I'm cleaning up the mess. He takes over. I go into kitchen to find coffee.

At 7 am, decide that dozing sounds like a great idea...The newest dog jumps into bed. Fine. Until she pees on the bedspread. FML.

By this time, I've decided that I'm just going to sleep on OB from now on.

Friday, July 18, 2014

Grateful

For friends who let me text and email to bitch about life in general.

For office days where every single patient is nice and sane.

For two terrific kids.

For a husband who is my rock.

For reasons to celebrate - weddings and babies are on the calendar (not for me, obviously...)

Saturday, July 5, 2014

A rewrite of Abba's Dancing Queen

You can cut, You can sew,
Having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, digging the Section Queen.

Friday night and the lights are low
Looking out for the place to go
When they stop dilatin'
And the heart tones go
Waaay too low.

You are the Section Queen, Not needing sleep, cutting seventeen!
Section Queen, working with the breathing machine.
You can cut, you can sew, having the time of your life
See that girl, scrub that skin, digging the Section Queen.

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Randomness

Doctors are THE WORST FUCKING PATIENTS!!!!! And for once, the patient is not me.

I need my head examined when scheduling fibroidy uteri for removal.

Writing eulogies is hard & I suck.

The house is really quiet without the boy running around (he's at summer camp this week).

I am never going to California again.

I don't even want to know how much I've spent on airline tickets the last few months.

Shit, I now own 2 homes again.

I need to go to the casino - I figure I should have good luck, regression to the mean and all.

I did NOT need the van conking out last week. I don't have time for that shit.