Monday, February 23, 2015

Last night

11:something pm. Fortunately, I am still awake because the %^%^*&%*^$%#%^% Oscars last FREAKING FOREVER:

I hang up the phone and sigh "Oh, honey."
Hubby rolls over and looks at me. "That's your Bless Your Heart Voice."
At least I didn't facepalm - been known to do that before during extremely dumb phone call questions.

Thursday, February 12, 2015


So I'm in a bit of a style rut...OK a HUGE style rut. As in I still wear clothes from high school (hey, they still fit). My oldest shirt is from 1987 - it has the date on it (summer camp T-shirt).

So my staff has finally had enough. They have done a What Not to Wear intervention. Today, one of the secretaries took me to the big city. I have never shopped at Macy's before. Several hundred dollars later, I have a good start to a new wardrobe. My credit card is crying "You spent money at a department store!!! What gives?!?!?!?!?!"

My office manager has a salon day planned for next week, since I've had the same hairstyle for a long time. I pointed out the ground rules - I don't own a hairdryer or a curling iron, so it really does have to be wash and wear. Oh, and I am bad about keeping up on stuff, so dyeing my hair may not last.

I have great staff at the office. Truly a second family.

Monday, February 9, 2015


I'm thinking that your chlamydia was NOT caught from the stripper pole you dance on at work.


I really can't make this shit up.

Wednesday, February 4, 2015


If you don't get complications, you don't do enough surgery - every attending's motto when I was a resident. Back then, I was sure complications were an excuse to torture us at M&M.

Complications suck. I hate them. I hate being on the other side of them (the last surgery on me had a post-op complication). But there is no way to COMPLETELY eliminate complications.

You can reduce them - certain post-op infections without prophylactic antibiotics approach 25%. When I give pre-op antibiotics, less than 2%. But it is still a number larger than 0. Post-op DVTs can occur in up to 1/3rd of all women undergoing hysterectomies, according to the literature when I was a resident. With SCDs and anticoagulation, we can greatly reduce - BUT NOT ELIMINATE - this complication.

Distorted anatomy can easily cause iatrogenic injury. Endometriosis, previous surgeries, large fibroids, severe pelvic prolapse can all change anatomy. I have transected a ureter because of endometriosis. I have injured bladders because of scarring from previous c-sections. The key is recognition and awareness.

It's hard. We surgeons all like to think we are the best at this - it's how we got here. We all hate having a patient experience a complication.

As I told my ortho - who was feeling horrible for me - I was the best person for a complication because I understood.

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

OK, World

Can I PLEASE go just 1 week without some drama from my kids' schools? I'm really not liking these trips in. And then the ER visit either...

I really don't ask for much.

Wednesday, January 7, 2015


So I'm walking into the patient's room after being called in because she's ready to start pushing. Patient asks "Can I give birth in the tub?"

"That is not an option."

Turn to look at her mom, my good friend and coworker. "YOU put her up to that, didn't you?"

Whole room bursts into laughter.

I caused my friend to lose the bet - I didn't say "No fucking way."

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

This is why we keep doing this

Got a hug and a kiss today from a patient.

Another said "My family loved you!" She was a recent hysterectomy.

I got to hold twin A of the set that I delivered the other day. Twin B had a diaper blowout, so I declined. ;)