Tuesday, May 19, 2015

randomness

I hate 3 am deliveries.

I hate 4 am deliveries.

I really hate 5 am deliveries.

I hate my shit magnet status.

I wish laboring patients would come in for my partners and not me.

Seriously, why do they all come in for me? (in fairness, I have one other partner who has similar luck)

6% section rate? REALLY? REALLY?!?!?!?!?!?

This weekend killed my 0% episiotomy rate, however. Oh, well. Everyone came out the intended route.

My vacation cannot come fast enough.

I'm sick of post-menopausal bleeds. Lately I've been the D&C queen.

I hate computers.

I LOATHE meaningful use.

Got my first 2016 EDC patient this week.

Being a high-maintainence drama queen will kill office morale quick.

Being the easy-going one means you get walked upon.

I hate vag hysts.

But I got a nice compliment from multiple OR nurses - they tell me I do a nice vag hyst & if they need one, they'll have me do it.

I daydream about GYN only sometimes.

I am not a miracle worker.

No, I did NOT know about crazypants' heroine use while pregnant. Hell, I didn't even KNOW she was knocked up again.

Thursday, April 9, 2015

New phrase

Coined by me, today.

Booty cooty.

Can be anything from trich, or the clap, to the ever popular chlamydia. It works no matter what.

Saturday, March 21, 2015

Thoughts

I'm in an employed group of OBs, fairly largish group. We are looking at expanding due to increased volume - lots of solo docs in this area have left for various reasons. The closest OB group (next town and hospital over) has imploded and those patients are coming to us now. My last few calls have been hellish. My office manager just says "RVUs! Think of your bonus!" Fuck my bonus, at that point, I just wanted sleep.

We're looking at a laborist model when we add our newest doc (and yay, she starts soon!). I have to admit, I would be all over that, no running back and forth between office and the labor deck (which is worth about 4K steps per call according to my new fitbit). No trying to juggle over where we need to be. Just spending shifts on OB, in-house. Or staying in the office & being able to fully be THERE. No need for rescheduling patients because of a delivery.

It would mean that I could effectively work full-time while keeping multiple days off per week. I like the part-time gig, it gives me time to keep my household functional. I can run the kids to lessons and fix dinner. I don't need to hire a cleaner because I can do things over the course of the week. It means I can chaperone field trips (which remind me why I am not a teacher).

Interesting things to ponder. I'm a year into this contract, will need to renegotiate if all of this comes to pass. Overall, this place was a good place for me to land. Reasonable administration, good group, nice hospital, great nurses. It's not perfect, but it's good enough. I'm not stupid; I'm planning on retiring from here unless my husband gets a better teaching job elsewhere. I hope not, I'm not up for moving yet again.

Like I told one of my partners, I'm too old for this shit. OB is hard on your sleep schedule. OB is physically draining. I got home the other day from a post-call office day and made it to the couch. I literally was feeling my legs throb and ache. I just wanted to do something mind numbingly dumb, so I harvested supplies on my Clash of Clans game.

Thursday, March 12, 2015

Grumble

So we took in my mom's dog after she died. My brother-in-law hates that dog & refused to take it in, but they did take her cat. I like her cat. Wish we took her instead of this evil demon spawn of a dog.

I hate this fucking dog. With the burning passion of 10,000 suns. She is 4 years old and not housebroken yet, despite us having her the last 9 months. My dogs are housebroken, Nymeria was trained within a few days of us getting her as a puppy.

I am currently shampooing my living room due to a massive diarrhea attack (I will grant that diarrhea is not her fault). Next up will be mopping my kitchen floor. Her crate is outside, where my hubby will wash it after he gets home because I'm laundering the stupid bed. This is my only day off this week.

I am not a happy camper. Fucking dog.

Monday, February 23, 2015

Last night

11:something pm. Fortunately, I am still awake because the %^%^*&%*^$%#%^% Oscars last FREAKING FOREVER:

I hang up the phone and sigh "Oh, honey."
Hubby rolls over and looks at me. "That's your Bless Your Heart Voice."
At least I didn't facepalm - been known to do that before during extremely dumb phone call questions.

Thursday, February 12, 2015

:)

So I'm in a bit of a style rut...OK a HUGE style rut. As in I still wear clothes from high school (hey, they still fit). My oldest shirt is from 1987 - it has the date on it (summer camp T-shirt).

So my staff has finally had enough. They have done a What Not to Wear intervention. Today, one of the secretaries took me to the big city. I have never shopped at Macy's before. Several hundred dollars later, I have a good start to a new wardrobe. My credit card is crying "You spent money at a department store!!! What gives?!?!?!?!?!"

My office manager has a salon day planned for next week, since I've had the same hairstyle for a long time. I pointed out the ground rules - I don't own a hairdryer or a curling iron, so it really does have to be wash and wear. Oh, and I am bad about keeping up on stuff, so dyeing my hair may not last.

I have great staff at the office. Truly a second family.

Monday, February 9, 2015

nope

I'm thinking that your chlamydia was NOT caught from the stripper pole you dance on at work.

Ewwww.

I really can't make this shit up.