Everyone knows doctors are greedy assholes only out for money:
Where to hide money from a...
Orthopedic Surgeon: On the patient's chest.
Surgeon: In a book.
Pediatrician: On a geriatric patient.
Geriatrician: On a baby.
ER Doctor: In a woman's vagina.
OB-Gyn: Near a male patient.
Pathologist/Radiologist: Near any patient.
Plastic Surgeon: You can't hide money from a plastic surgeon.