Amusing Link

The history of periods on TV, in brief.

The Roseann link is funny.

Although I have to say, why, oh, why do we have to hear about that "not so fresh feeling" on TV?

grrrrr

And she's BAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCKKKKKKK!!!!!!

The chick from last night called again, thinking she's in labor. Not happy with my answer, she proceeded to call L&D to ask for advice. I found out when they called me about another outpatient. The night shift charge nurse was laughing as she told me about the phone call. Evidently, she's not too happy with me. Oh, well.

The charge nurse had had her as an outpatient last night...and this patient told her that "Of course, the doctor said she would start pitocin." WTF? On a Saturday night? When you are a patient of the practice that I'm cross-covering and I don't know a thing about you other than you're 37 weeks and a pain in my ass? And I repeat, inducing someone on a Saturday NIGHT? Are you kidding me?

I have a feeling I'll get paged at some ungodly hour about her. Yes, she's uncomfortable. Yes, quite frankly, it SUCKS big time to be late-stage in a pregnancy. But so what? You are PREGNANT!!!!!

After writing the above, I just got paged about her. She's still 1, thick, posterior and now discharged back to home pissed off at me, saying that I don't know jack-shit and asking to speak to her doc. Bite me.

Why did I do this again?
;)

Still not a reason to induce. Suck it up.

Wow!

A patient sent flowers to me and another arrangement to my nurse, along with really nice notes thanking us for caring for her during her pregnancy.

It's rare to be appreciated.

Public Service Announcement

Contractions are not the same as labor. Yes, you may be experiencing semi-regular pains. But you know what, if your cervix is still posterior and only 1 cm, I'm sending your ass home. You are NOT in labor. Because if I don't, I'll end up "augmenting" you, with a much higher risk of sectioning you for "arrest of dilation" WHEN YOU WERE NEVER IN LABOR TO START WITH!!!!!

There are some people who come in literally EVERY SINGLE DAY.

One of the older docs around told me to offer Visteril to those who abuse the "I think I'm in labor" story. Evidently, it hurts like hell as an injection.

ugh.

Why the OB lifestyle sucks

Just finished a delivery...and can't fall back to sleep. It's 3:26 am. It was a good delivery, just at the wee hours of the night, when most normal people are out cold.

I admit, I have very poor sleeping habits. I have the day off, so I'll end up napping this afternoon. Hopefully that will reset the sleep clock.

And yet, I still love my job...

How to know you're old

Ask your 8 year old daughter who is the cutie in the Star Wars films.

I'm thinking Luke or Han (I'm partial to Han, being somewhat of a bad boy).

She immediately replies "Anakin!"


Sigh.

Just for laughs

I was examining a patient with complete uterine prolapse, who has new onset deterioration of the mucosa. It was painful for her to sit, so she was standing and I was bending down behind her looking at the mucosa when she lets on rip. Loud. Stinky. And my face was at ground zero, so to speak.

My nurse is getting pissed at me because I was starting to do the silent laugh since the patient couldn't see me.

But then, the kicker:


"I guess I shouldn't have had bean soup for lunch."