Thursday, December 11, 2008


Today would have been my dad's 60th birthday. He died a little over 3 years ago from stage 4 lung cancer (quote of the disease -"I went to the ER thinking I had pneumonia, left it with cancer!"). Cancer is a shitty way to die, BTW. I know, I've seen it both professionally and personally.

So I'm feeling a little philosophical today. I did some Christmas cards today - looking through my address book (the old-fashioned kind, where names are crossed out). I'm basically the matriarch now in my dad's family - I'm the oldest cousin not in jail. All of my grandparents are dead, my dad and his only sister are dead. There isn't much for me to go to in terms of the older generations.

My mom is still alive. Not healthy, but still alive. She's an only child. Two of her aunts/uncles are alive, albeit in the end stage of Alzheimer's. I doubt if they remember much at all. Many of the adults in my life as a child are now just memories. I look through my wedding album and many of the folks there are gone. Aunts, uncles, adult family friends. Gone.

Egads, I should have another glass of wine. I'm getting too depressing for myself!

1 comment:

dr. whoo? said...

I am sorry for your loss. It is hard to lose the adults you remember from your childhood and become one of the elders of the family. I still feel like I belong at the "kids table." We are, in our minds, forever young, I think. Hope you had a second glass, you deserve it.