9:42 am. I am sacked out on the couch "watching" cartoons. My cell goes off. I recognize the number as being the call center.
"I have a call for you but I tried to get her to call back tomorrow. It's not an emergency." Hoo boy. Never a good sign. "She's insisting upon talking to you.
"OK, doctor, you're connected to Pita Patient." Crap. Pita is one of those of whom we say "it's going to be a long pregnancy." I talk to her several nights per week as well as the phone nurse talks to her at least twice weekly. And we still have MONTHS before she delivers. My working diagnosis is category 4 - fucking nuts and intent upon making ME (and my staff) nuts too.
"Your office called on Friday and I want to know why."
W.T.F. I mean, WTF!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
A. It's Sunday.
B. I'm at home.
C. I have no clue why she was called.
D. I wasn't even IN the office on Friday - it's my day off.
So I nicely tell her I don't know and that she should call tomorrow. She sounded disappointed.
Tag phone nurse, you're it!