Saturday, February 2, 2013

Weird

My mother is getting frail. Mentally, she's mostly still with-it, but physically, she's on a downward slope. Modern medicine has added years to her life - the initial presentation of her cancer was a P.E. in 2009 - doubt she would have survived that 100 years ago. She has had radical surgery as well as XRT and chemo - both of which likely have added to her lifespan.

She's finally starting to realize that she likely won't be around much longer. She went to a lawyer recently and we were talking about that today. She mentioned that she wanted to donate her organs and I pointed out that cancer pretty much eliminates you as a donor. I mentioned donating her body to a medical school...she's going to be looking into that.

Not a normal conversation by any way shape or form, that's for sure.

9 comments:

Solitary Diner said...

So sorry you're going through this. My dad died of cancer while I was in medical, so I can empathize with what an utterly miserable thing it is.

ER's Mom said...

My dad died in 2005, during my final year of residency. Ironically, he died of lung cancer during my gyn-onc rotation.

It made for a hellacious few months. One of the reasons I'm only working part-time for now is because of my mom being so ill for the last several years.

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Sorry. Hang in there.

Mary said...

Sorry you have to deal with this. While my DIL was in medical school my husband decided that was what he wanted. Knowing his family I mentioned this right away. They aren't comfortable with it but he is firm about his wishes. Make sure this decision is not a surprise to other family members.

Anonymous said...

My sympathies.

I had these conversations with my dad, and the more honest and factual you can be, the better. Prearrange as much as possible.

My sister, my mother, and my dad have passed away. My sister by suicide, my mom - pretty much denying how ill she was, and my dad, who dealt with it matter of factly. His was by far the "best," if you can say that about such things.

C said...

MIL ended up with cancer which she passed away from two years ago, and did donate her body to a medical school (she had said that was what she wanted for years so when she got ill, it was not a big deal-she had already filled out the paperwork) and the school sent the family a lovely letter thanking us.

I'm sorry this is happening, it was a rough year for my husband and not at all how MIL had planned to spend her last years.

C said...

MIL ended up with cancer which she passed away from two years ago, and did donate her body to a medical school (she had said that was what she wanted for years so when she got ill, it was not a big deal-she had already filled out the paperwork) and the school sent the family a lovely letter thanking us.

I'm sorry this is happening, it was a rough year for my husband and not at all how MIL had planned to spend her last years.

Mary Hood said...

So sorry. My Dad died in May, after a long slow decline. Not sure he ever came to terms with it. At least it sounds like your Mom has some acceptance.

ER's Mom said...

Thanks, all.