Friday, September 27, 2013

Tired

It's 4 am and I'm up. Not because of call, but because of pain. And I'm tired of it. I've been diagnosed with a condition that looks like it'll be chronic, which sucks. It's also exquisitely painful. I've been having good days and bad days (yesterday was a bad one). I hate narcotics, but I'm grateful they exist because some days, it's the only way to dull the pain to get some sleep. I have, by myself, covered our FAMILY'S deductible. I am grateful I have insurance.

I have voluntarily cut back on things like elective surgeries. I can't do it. I'd never make it through a case. I've been still taking call, but it's not easy. I can take my APAP and NSAIDs on call, but I won't take "the good stuff" if I'm on call. I pray babies just slide out, because operative deliveries are not a good thing. I'm having a hard time being nice because I hurt. If this continues, I may need to consider going out for a bit on disability.

I am compliant as all get out. PT/OT. Imaging. Appointments.


6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh that just sucks...sending positive vibes your way (when I know that in bouts of bad pain you just want to chuck those sorts of comments right back!!) Hope there is some light at the end of it all, and some of those useful narcotics to kick it to where they're needed.

Solitary Diner said...

So sorry to hear this. F@$k pain.

Liana said...

Oh no. Ob is a tough specialty. I hurt my back at the beginning of the year (no trauma, just repetitive stress from the OR and twisting around the bar at the bottom of the bed for deliveries). I'm also paranoid about hurting my hand getting heads out of pelvises.

I hope you feel better soon.

rural_obgyn said...

People do not realize how much physical activity is involved with our specialty. Pain anywhere especially hands, arms, legs makes it impossible. Three c/s today and I am tired. Double for excess poundage of patient. Take care of yourself.

ER's Mom said...

Thanks. I was not in a good place when I wrote this yesterday morning.

It's my left arm - can't move it well at the shoulder joint, which makes everything difficult. I've had multiple steroid injections, multiple rounds of oral steroids. Ortho is telling me this can last for 3-5 years and ROM may never be back to normal. "You would have been better off breaking your hand like your partner did."

I agree with Liana and rural_obgyn, people don't think of how physical we are in our jobs. Difficult deliveries - you feel those in your back for days. Some surgical cases as well. Sitting on the floor because the cervix is directly behind the pubic bone and you're trying to put in an IUD...

Anonymous said...

My husband is dealing with chronic pain and it breaks my heart-I can't imagine dealing with it myself.

I'm sorry.