Christmas morning...

7:01 A.M. I am greeted with a slurp from a dog, a girl telling me that it's after 7:00 just like I told them and a little boy singing "It's Christmas, it's Christmas, it's time to open presents!" over and over again until I start moving.

7:10 A.M. Fist cup of coffee is being drunk.

7:11 A.M. Presents start being opened.

7:47 A.M. Presents are all opened.

8:30 A.M. Homemade donuts are being devoured.

8:45 A.M. Laughter from the note Santa left:

Dear Kids,

Thank-you very much for leaving out the plate of goodies. The gingerbread men looked very tasty. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to eat one of them myself. Mrs. Claus has been telling me that I'm becoming just a bit too much of a jolly old elf myself, so I'm afraid it's just carrots and skim milk for me.

Dasher and Dancer, however, are very partial to gingerbread men and they tell me that they were delicious. Rudolf wanted one too, but they make him gassy and I've still got to ride behind him for the rest of the night, if you take my meaning. Tell your mother that the reindeer said "thank-you" for baking the cookies.

Yes, we're a bit warped.

Musings

9+ hours is a loooooonnnnnngggggg time to be in the OR. Mom seems to be OK, but talking to her is frustrating - she's very hard of hearing, and misunderstands phone conversations constantly. Plus she's still on a Dilaudid PCA, so she's loopy too.

Did you know Santa has a cell phone? It's how I threatened my kids into behaving today. ;)

Who in the HELL wants their hip replaced today? Yes, it was on the OR schedule! I saw it when I went in to do an ectopic from the ER.

Couldn't get everyone discharged today, so I'll have to round tomorrow. Grumble.

Merry Christmas!

Waiting

Mom's surgery was scheduled at 2 pm today...and she was wheeled back at 2:10. She's still in the OR, which is one long fricken time. Hope the surgeon has a foley in him! ;)

DH is up in Michigan, texting me updates. Last one was about an hour ago.

At least this call night is being kind to me...(tempting the call gods, but, oh,well).

How NOT to start off your Monday...

1. Run late because you kept hitting snooze.

2. Get rear-ended on the way into the hospital to round.

3. By the CEO of the hospital.

2009 can't end fast enough. :) I'm fine and so is my car.

Kids and their funny statements, part umpteenth

So my 5 year old boy was sitting in my lap the other night when he let one rip. Loud and stinky.

I looked at him and asked him "What do you say?"

And he looked at me with these big blue eyes wide open and said "I didn't do it! Mr. Bear did it!"

"Mr. Bear is upstairs in your room."

"Mr. Bear farts really loudly."

I couldn't help laughing.

More crappiness

So Mom was scheduled for surgery earlier this month. It got postponed due to scheduling issues with the surgeon until today. Fine, whatever. I can understand.

So she does the Mag Citrate prep yesterday for surgery today. She is scheduled to be the 1 pm case. I manage to get coverage and my sister, BIL, DH, and me are all there for the surgery...at 12:30 I remark that since she's not in pre-op yet, there's no way it's running on time. At 2:30, we ask why she isn't in pre-op yet and are told that her case is now scheduled for 4:50 pm. At 3:15, we find out the surgeon has canceled it due to the previous case is still going on and he doesn't know how much longer it will take. It is rescheduled for next week Tuesday...I'm on call and doubt that I can arrange coverage on such short notice. DH is on winter break and will be there, but the rest of us have to work.

She will be in-house over the holiday...assuming it goes THIS time. I am on call for Christmas weekend.

AURGH!!!!!!!

Kids say the darndest things, part 2

So we live in rural America, in a super-conservative area. I am a social liberal. I can cloak well, as can DH.

So today, we get a Christmas card machine-signed by the Obamas. We show this to our 9 year old and boy, oh, boy is she IMPRESSED. As in her jaw is wide open and she thinks that we are the bomb to get a card from the White House. I point out that we are probably the only people in the county to get one of these. DH starts laughing. The girl asks "Why?"

I'm trying to explain liberal versus conservative political philosophies and failing miserably.

So she asks "Because people around here don't believe in democracy?"

Oh, kids sometimes nail it without even meaning to do so.