Workin' for the weekend...

This week thus far:

a 4 am delivery that pushed for 3+ hours.
a discovery of an allergy to clindamycin via hives and breathing issues.
25 week twins with a foot in the vagina
A BPP of 2/10...in someone with a BMI over 70.
A crash section in someone with fetal heart tones in the 30s for 6 minutes.
An ER hit: "I think I see head!" Yep, doc you do. And dammit, I'm doc o'the-month.

ugh.

Call misadventures, continued

9:42 am. I am sacked out on the couch "watching" cartoons. My cell goes off. I recognize the number as being the call center.

"Hello"

"I have a call for you but I tried to get her to call back tomorrow. It's not an emergency." Hoo boy. Never a good sign. "She's insisting upon talking to you.

"Fine."

"OK, doctor, you're connected to Pita Patient." Crap. Pita is one of those of whom we say "it's going to be a long pregnancy." I talk to her several nights per week as well as the phone nurse talks to her at least twice weekly. And we still have MONTHS before she delivers. My working diagnosis is category 4 - fucking nuts and intent upon making ME (and my staff) nuts too.

"Your office called on Friday and I want to know why."

W.T.F. I mean, WTF!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

A. It's Sunday.
B. I'm at home.
C. I have no clue why she was called.
D. I wasn't even IN the office on Friday - it's my day off.

So I nicely tell her I don't know and that she should call tomorrow. She sounded disappointed.

Tag phone nurse, you're it!

Sleep

Is the big downfall of OB. I just finished a delivery...3+ hours of pushing. Please note the time I'm typing this. I can't fall back asleep right now.

My cycle is going to be off for about 2-3 days because of this. The post-call day is doable even if you've been up all night. It's the following day that it hits you hard.

Here's hoping that I can get naps today and tomorrow.

Funny kid

So I'm seeing a patient for a routine OB check. She's brought her daughter along, like many people do. Her little girl is GORGEOUS - long straight red hair, bright blue eyes, impish look on her face. She's 2 1/2 years old and precocious as all get out.

So I knock on the door before I enter, open the door and almost trip over the kid, who is right by the entrance to the room.

"You scared me!" she said.

"Sorry."

"Curly hair scares me." I have super curly brown hair.

"You should see me when I first wake up." The patient is cracking up at the exchange.

How do you

tell a woman her baby has a lethal anomaly?

And yes, I'm sure. My sonographer is excellent. The pictures are crystal clear, textbook perfect. The sonographer came out of the room in tears and called me.

Got her squeezed in yesterday to see me after her scan. She and her husband are in shock.

This is the 6th one since July for my practice. We've had about 170 deliveries in that time frame. And most of them have been related to one particular organ system.

I think I'm going to be talking to our local health department...it just feels like too many. I'm not sure the HD will do anything, it's relatively impotent (hence the reason my little clinic does the STD testing).

OB is happy until it's not.

More awesomeness

Whiny first time mom, being induced for being overdue and 4 cm dilated (ie elective induction, but one with a good chance of succeeding). She's been very whiny from 32 weeks on.

Now, before people start in on me, most pregnant women start whining right around that time. I don't know a late in pregnancy woman who can sleep comfortably or go more than an hour without peeing or can breathe deeply easily. It's just the way it is, and it sucks. I know, I have two kids so I give sympathy than point out that "yep, you're normal. You're pregnant."

So, back to my point. Patient gets to complete. 24 minutes of pushing. 10 pounds, 5 ounces. No shoulder issues. No tears.

Day-um!

No wonder she was whiny!

Awesomeness, redefined

So hubby just got home from work. He said he heard this ad on the local sports radio station. Evidently, some urologists have started running an ad urging men to get vasectomies in March. They were emphasizing the need to stay home and rest and watch TV during the recovery period.

The tag line?


Ohhhh......this is good.



Wait for it...



It caused me to snort out my tea because I was laughing so hard....



Guess.



"Lower your seed for the tournament!"

Shaking things up

So one of my circle of friends is well connected within this town. And being a small town, it's who you know. She's a liberal as well, although I cloak better than she does. ;)

So awhile back, we were talking about the clinic and how I'm delivering these 13 and 14 year olds. Because of the overwhelming conservatism in this area, sex ed here is abstinence only and starts in the HIGH SCHOOL. I pointed out that I'm delivering 6th and 7th graders, maybe something needs to change.

So my friend hooked me up with the curriculum coordinators from the various school systems around here. I was pleasantly surprised that they were at least willing to listen to me and my suggestions. They want data on why abstinence only should be stopped. But it's a start. They also were surprised to hear that basic sex ed should be in elementary school...

My daughter is in 4th grade right now. I look at her and her classmates and know that I'll be seeing some of them within a few years. So, yeah, I'm a bit passionate about this.

And, yes, I practice what I preach and my children are aware of the basics. Correct names are used for anatomy.

Happy Birthday, Kiddo

6 years ago, we were blessed with a little boy. You are deeply loved. I didn't realize then just how lucky I was to get to be a mother to a boy, but now I am so happy you made your way into our lives. Your cake is in the oven as I type.

Happy birthday, Little Mr. Farty-Pants Stinky-Butt.

I live amongst wusses

So we got 2 inches of white stuff last night and school is canceled!!!!

I swear, people here don't know how to drive! And they're wusses!

But no, not me, I've got a full day of OR ahead of me...assuming patients show up.

Another milestone

My baby lost his first tooth. It's on the bottom, so it's not very visible, but still...


My baby's growing up. :(

Sick and Wrong

There is nothing better than an abscess that has the pressure built up so much that it spurts a foot as soon as it is incised. I think they are my favorite office visits.

Love them.

Biggest vulvar abscess I've seen was about the size of a football. Worst place for one (that I've seen) : right on the clitoris. OUCH!