Friday, February 28, 2014

Baby steps...

Was given to OK to go back into the OR but start with easier cases. And have a partner assist, just in case it gets bad in the middle of a case.

I'm actually more worried about a difficult vaginal delivery. I know that pre-operatively, there were some hairy deliveries that I did. And the next 1-2 days after them, I paid the price. If I have a bad looking strip and I think I can get the kid out faster with a vacuum, that's what I'll do. But people don't realize the physicality of that. And there's no time to call for back-up, I'll just have to do it.

And I was scrubbed into the section, but my partner wouldn't let me do anything other than cut suture and announce gender. I was more useless than a med student! It's funny, I literally did nothing in the case but the parents are thrilled that I was there. One of the grandmas works at the PT place I go to and at my appointment today, she came over to thank me. And I told ortho at my appointment, he had already known (small hospital...lots of people ratted me out)

Looks like I'm going to be the D&C and lap tubal queen for awhile. I have 2 cases booked that I know are going to be bad...I decided to push them out to June and torture my senior-most partner with being the assist on those 2 cases. Just going to wish for no surprise endometriosis in my cases for quite some time.

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Follow up

It's 5 am, been up for hours thanks to landing wrong on my shoulder whilst sleeping. Trying to keep off narcotics is meaning that sleeping is now dependent upon me staying off of the bad side. I frequently fail to stay off the bad side. I gave up and took a Percocet around 3. Hopefully it'll wear off before I need to work today.

Someone asked previously if this and my mother's situation has changed me as a doctor. Yes and no.

No. I've always tried to treat people how I want my family to be treated. It's just the right thing to do. Am I perfect? No. But I honestly try. And I do care about my patients. Don't tell ortho, but I'm assisting in a section next week because I really like my patient - and she really likes me. I delivered her first child. We are lucky in OB, we get to build relationships like that.

Yes. I'm frustrated with my mom's situation. It seems to have spiraled quickly. Communication from her docs (and admittedly, I'm getting this via my sister and mother) is lackluster at best. This has made me re-evaluate my communication skills & hopefully work to improve them.

Waiting. Wait for this result. Wait for that appointment. I'm better at giving patients a timeline now for when info will be available.

Pain. For those with diagnosed diseases, I'm more liberal. I'm still cautious prior to the work-up, but I'm very sympathetic now to just how draining pain is on your life. Putting in a full day of work right now is about my limit. Another reason for me to hate endometriosis.

Tuesday, February 11, 2014


Residency, in gif form.

ETA: go back and read the whole damn thing. The very first posting is classic. Thanks to my sister from another mister for finding this.

Friday, February 7, 2014

Just venting

About my aging body.

I'm 40, soon to be 41. And I just hurt.

My shoulder is killing me today after PT. PT makes me nauseated, such that I can't wait to get home to down a Phenergan. If I have a driver, I take pain meds prior to PT. Today, I didn't so I sucked it up and took both meds as soon as I got home. Now the room is spinning.

I've now lost 4 pounds since surgery. Tuesday was the first day I ate all 3 meals. I spent yesterday barfing. Today, I'm just nauseated.

It just hurts. I'm not sure if it's better or worse since surgery. My arm has passive ROM that's nearly full, but there's a lot of weakness. Dressing myself is a challenge. I can't put on my winter coat, which sucks right now with these temps. I can't do anything with my hair except for a headband - no ponytails or braids. Sleeping is interesting - land wrong and you wake up with shooting pain.

I knew going in that it may not be a cure. And maybe I just need to be more patient. But I'm getting frustrated.

Sunday, February 2, 2014


Took another one early.

I admit, I have a hard time understanding narcotics addiction. The side effects seem to be so bad for what is an ephemeral feeling. And as a doctor, I'm trying to care for the patient as best as I can. But there are trust issues (both ways) that impede this.

I have no solutions. Just a sad shake of my head.