Monday, April 29, 2013

For those who think all we care about is our golf game.

First, I don't play golf.

Second, was talking to one of my partners. We've both had awful cases recently, involving death or serious morbidity. And she said "You were trying to do everything to ensure a vaginal delivery instead of cutting her before 5 pm. Don't you wish that sometimes we just did what we're always being accused of doing by the lunatics? But we don't, we try to do what is best for the patient."


Sunday, April 28, 2013

A new one

Pregnant gal was working out in the fields when her protruding belly touched the electrical fence.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Monday, April 22, 2013

Things of beauty

There's a scene in the movie Aladdin (so shoot me, I've got young kids), where the hero and Jasmine are in trouble on a roof ledge. He turns to her and asks "Do you trust me?" She slips her hand into his and they escape.

That is what we ask our patients every single day. Do you trust me? Then take a leap of faith and ________. Allow me to cut you open. Allow me to schedule an induction. Let me order this test.

We do this daily. Hopefully, we are worthy of this trust.

Monday, April 15, 2013

At the dinner table...

I had mumbled something about my whackaloon patient being due the week that we are taking a family vacation. I also mentioned that she would probably want me to deliver her the day I got back from the vacation at which point the boychild hums "Dum dum DUM" in a creepy melody.

My kids have met this particular nutcase because I keep running into her around town. ARGH!!!

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Why I should be in charge of sex ed at my house.

So we found this amusing website. The kids & I have been having fun looking though the various ways other dogs are very bad. Bathroom trash, specifically feminine hygiene products are frequently featured.

My son : What's a tampon?

My husband : Something that catches girl cooties.

Boychild : Oh.

Friday, April 5, 2013

Small amusements

Background: I am white. One of my partners is African-American.

I have a patient who needs delivered this weekend and I'm not on call - my partner is. So I'm talking to her today about induction & she asks me about things. One question was "What does she look like."

"Nothing like me." Said with a straight face.

Thing is, being lost in middle america, people are incredibly racist around here. But when they meet my partner, everyone loves her. Moving this area slowly into the 20th century...