Saturday, July 30, 2011


Don't want to clean out upstairs closet.


Thursday, July 28, 2011

PR is back!!!

And it starts in only about an hour!!!

YAY!!!! Crazy people deluding themselves into thinking that they have made some beautiful work of art when the midwesterners are all saying "But her ass is hanging out!"

What can I say, I wear mom jeans. ;)

Friday, July 22, 2011

RIP Aunt Evelyn


She was the last of the generation. A remnant of my grandma's cohort, she was 6 years younger than my grandma. They were the only two who lived north of the Mason-Dixon line, she settling in Chicago and my family in Michigan. Out of my grandma's 8 siblings, she was the one I knew the best.

As a child, we would go to her house every year for Thanksgiving, making the 4 hour trek to Northbrook. Her corn pudding was wonderful. I learned to make "Magic Marshmallow Puffs" at her house. Wine was plentiful as was the food.

I would occasionally be sent to Chicago to visit her alone, taking either the train or Greyhound. We touristed the town...boat tours, Sears Tower, the beach along Lakeshore Drive. We would go to Marshall Field's and window shop. Play tennis and then stop for ice cream. Road trips to Great America and to Wisconsin.

I last saw her a few years ago at Em's funeral. She looked nothing like the vibrant woman in my memories. A LOL, somewhat cranky and confused as to why the family has gathered again. Alzheimer's is a cruel disease.

She's been dwindling the last few months, with the last couple of weeks being a mercifully quick decline. May she rest in peace.

Soul searching

So my hubby is in the job market. His field is very small, meaning the market is tight. He currently is an instructor at a local college but not tenure track. And he wants to be tenure-track.

That means moving, in all likelihood, next academic year.

I'm not against this. The office the last few months have been awful. I now hate going to work. Not because of the patients, but because the administration dumping more work our way, the other doctor being difficult (at best) to work with, the patient load getting to the point where I feel completely and totally overwhelmed. My contract is coming up soon and I may say the hell with it and fail to renew my contract.

And I don't know where we'll end up. So I'm looking into locuming, since we will need some income. I've poured over the budget, seeing how few days I need to work to keep us afloat. My CV is now updated. I've signed up with some agencies.

It's scary stepping out into space. I'm glad that we're relatively frugal and are savers. It gives me options that I wouldn't have if I had lived it up like many of the other docs in town do. But it's still scary losing the safety net.

I haven't cut loose yet...but if not for hubby's career, then for my sanity and family life. It's getting to be just a manner of time.

Thursday, July 21, 2011


ABOG and its damned MOC.

Over half done for the year, but still. What a hassle. And $$$$$.

Just another tax on a doc.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

What's more pathetic?

Me trying to reread Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows tonight before seeing the movie tomorrow or having to fight with my hubby to get my book in the first place!


Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Medical Truism

If the resident tells a friend "I had the coolest case last night" then you can bet good money that the attending is saying "I had the WORST case last night..."

Friday, July 8, 2011


My little girl will be gone for a week at camp. I'll drop her off this weekend.

I know that she is growing up and becoming her own person. There are times I'll catch a glimpse of her and Who is that cute young lady? Look at those legs that go on forever!

My job as a parent is to make myself obsolete. And I send her off to camp to help her have a taste of independence, before she needs to be out on her own. But I still think of her as the little 5 pounder who never slept and ate constantly...some things never change.

Saturday, July 2, 2011


So last night, I was waiting to start a section and the anesthesiologist and I were in the OR waiting for the patient to arrive. We both noted it was July 1st...and were glad that we were in rural fly-over country hospital instead of Mecca. I was the least experienced person in the room, having graduated from residency 5 years ago.

We were both musing about intern year. He's significantly older than me, but the themes were similar. Sheer and utter fear that first day. The thrill of being able to write orders. Feeling overwhelmed. The weirdness of signed the MD after our names (I don't do that signature has degenerated into my initials).

He told stories of his attending snoring during a case his first month.

I talked about the first time I held a scalpel...July 2nd, 2002. I was the intern on the gyn team and was scrubbed in for an abdominal hysterectomy. The scrub nurse was told to give me the scalpel and I was told to make the skin incision and then put the scalpel down on the Mayo.

My first reaction was "ARE YOU FUCKING NUTS?!?!?!?!?! I could HURT someone with that thing!!!!!!" But I didn't say anything and suavely took the scalpel (all the while trying not to shake) and placed it on the line the attending had drawn. Took a deep breath and cut.

Evidently not even remotely hard enough. I didn't even get into the dermis! The attending looked at me and said "You CAN cut more than one cell layer at a time." And he put his hand over mine on the scalpel and we did it again, this time exposing the yellow balls of fat lying just under the skin.

And now...I still respect the scalpel, but it feels natural. It's a part of my life. As are the Mayo scissors, the hemostats, the pick-ups. I can use any of them with either hand. I like the ritual of slapping them into my hands, ready to use. The dance of gowning and gloving is almost as formal as a waltz with people moving and presenting parts at precise times.