*sigh*

Direct patient quote: My mom had breast cancer in her right boob. Or left boob. Something like that.

I think I need to refer to Grumpy...

More on physicality of our job

In my previous hospital, I would occasionally have a nurse practioner student shadow me. Many of them were RNs who worked at this hospital and arranged their rotations with assorted docs there. I was popular for the OB/GYN portion.

Anyhow, one week one of them saw my surgery day - multiple laparoscopies, a vag hyst. Next day, she witnessed a vacuum assisted delivery. Also that week was a section on a very large woman. Now, people think of surgery as this delicate, precise thing. And many times it is. But shoving a port in during a scope takes some muscle. Sucking out a baby takes muscle. And entering the abdomen in a section is neither delicate nor easy. Basically, you and the assist put your hands in and pull AS HARD AS YOU CAN outward.

Vicki came up to me after all of this and said she understood why I didn't exercise - I was working out at work!

Tired

It's 4 am and I'm up. Not because of call, but because of pain. And I'm tired of it. I've been diagnosed with a condition that looks like it'll be chronic, which sucks. It's also exquisitely painful. I've been having good days and bad days (yesterday was a bad one). I hate narcotics, but I'm grateful they exist because some days, it's the only way to dull the pain to get some sleep. I have, by myself, covered our FAMILY'S deductible. I am grateful I have insurance.

I have voluntarily cut back on things like elective surgeries. I can't do it. I'd never make it through a case. I've been still taking call, but it's not easy. I can take my APAP and NSAIDs on call, but I won't take "the good stuff" if I'm on call. I pray babies just slide out, because operative deliveries are not a good thing. I'm having a hard time being nice because I hurt. If this continues, I may need to consider going out for a bit on disability.

I am compliant as all get out. PT/OT. Imaging. Appointments.

Magical, powerful

OVARIES!!!!!

By golly, every thing that is wrong with a woman is the OVARY'S fault. Got weight gain? It's your hormones. Low libido? Hormones. Irritable? Again, hormones. Can't sleep? Out-of-whack hormones.

Abdominal pain? Ovaries. Definitely.

Here is a message to every single ER doc in the USA.:

IT'S NOT ALWAYS THE OVARY'S FAULT! STOP SENDING ME PATIENTS THAT HAVE 2.35724 MINUTES OF PAIN 5 DAYS AGO, WITH THE DIAGNOSIS OF FEMALE ABDOMINAL PAIN AND/OR OVARIAN CYST.

And my fellow 40-somethings. You're tired, gaining weight, have no sex drive because something gave. It's called taking care of yourself. You're running around, kids in various activities, work outside the home, clean the home and wonder why you're going to hell?

Obviously it's your hormonal milieu.

Fuck you ABOG and ACOG

I paid $695 for the pleasure of recertifying my board status. It's called Maintenance of Certification, and for OB-Gyns, we have to read a shitload of articles and then answer questions on each one. And we get to do chart review of our charts to ensure that we're doing things according to standards (this part I actually think is a good idea). And THEN we get to read some horseshit article on communication and answer more questions.

But do they give us the articles for free? Oh FUCK NO!!!!!! They want to charge ~$30 per article times 15 articles. Other, enterprising hucksters will sell you hard copies for only $200 for all of them. (hey, they only need 3-4 of us to buy from them to make a profit!) I'm starting to get those postcards in the mail.

Times like this I'm glad hubby works at a university - I use his account to access the library and get the articles for free.