Some thoughts

Yesterday was a decent enough day in the office. Lots of OB visits. Cute siblings bragging about "their" baby. Talking about birth control with some postpartum patients. Nothing unusual. I tell my patients when everything is fine: "You're boring." I said that a lot yesterday.

Boring is good. Boring means that things are going the way they are supposed to go. Boring means healthy moms, healthy babies. Boring means I may not know your name until 37ish weeks. THAT IS NOT A BAD THING!!!!!! Nonboring means I'm having the pre-eclampsia discussion at 33 weeks. Talking to you about scheduling a version versus a section. Sending you to the ultrasound room because I haven't found heart tones with the doppler.

Trust me, you want to be boring. And quite frankly, I'm too old for non-boring. Excitement is not a good thing in medicine.

Meditation

One of my dearest friends texted me recently. Her mother died after being in Hospice for a few weeks. My partner's dad just died. On Facebook, announcements of various teachers' obits are a regular on my newsfeed. I'm waiting for my mother to finally pass.

That's what being a 40-something is. We're staring at the realization that soon we'll be the oldest in the family. That we can't ask those ahead of us what to do. I look through our wedding album, only to realize that quite a few are now gone. Aunts, uncles, family friends. The giants from the past now exist only in our mind.

If that's being a grown up, take me back.

Misunderstanding

My mom has been pretty sick the last few weeks. She was septic and pulled though, much to everyone's surprise. My conversation with her a few days later.

Mom: Doctor said I had three germs in my blood, that's why I was so sick.
Me: Really? What ones?
Mom: One was Proteus, I think.
Me: Yes, that's a common bug.
Mom: The next one was chlamydia.
Me: Are you sure it's not Klebsiella? I'm pretty sure you weren't septic with chlamydia.
Mom: No, I'm positive it was chlamydia.
Me: ?????

At this point, I don't argue because what's the point?
Mom: I don't remember what the last one was.

Beatles- Let It Be

Ugh

Those OR days when nothing goes right. Had one recently. Knew my first case was going to be a bitch, because I'd scoped her in the past. As an aside, I really hate endometriosis. So you set yourself up for success - extensive counseling about possibly needing to convert from a scope to an open procedure. Book extra OR time. Have the most experienced partner as an assist instead of using a nurse first assist. Have in the room anything you may possibly need (not opened, but in the room). And the case went well, although it took the extra time allotted. Next case had difficulty. Final case of the day I was hoping would be a slam-dunk scope. Put in the camera.

"No. Not today. I don't want to deal with that."

"I think I'm going to start swearing now."

Yeah, not how we want to start the case - with big ugly adhesions everywhere.

Thanks to a friend who shared this with me

Help

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome.

We need to do more for the vets who come home. We need more mental health caregivers. We need more help. Or else more of the same will keep appearing on the news with depressing regularity.