2012

Well, I survived seeing my family at this time of the year. And it means that I get to celebrate...with some nice coffee stout. Lord knows, I've earned it. Believe me, dealing with my nutty mom and my whack-job sister (to quote my DH "There's not enough alcohol in the world for me to deal with your mother") while being pleasant to them...I've earned it. I totally get the Dropkick Murphy's Christmas video that Grumpy posted the other day...

With the penultimate night of 2012 here, it's time to reflect. This is the first year in 6-7 years that hasn't totally sucked donkey balls. '07-'11 were bad years. Full-on stop bad. The "getting kicked while down" type of years. Yes, 2012 was a crazy year, with new jobs and moving. But it is settling down into a familiar place. We like the new town much better than the old place. It's still small-town, but it feels bigger, more cosmopolitan. As my husband points out, minorities live here! For me, the measure is how far away Target is - a mere 15 minutes (next town over) versus over an hour on the freeway. My kids are happier - I'm not sure if it's because I'm working less, they like the environment more, or they can sense that we're happier.

DH has settled into his new job well. As have I. I'm in a mid-sized group - large enough that I'm not always on call, but small enough that we know everyone. Working part-time is a god-send for my sanity as well. Less than 1 weekend per month! WTF?!?!?!?!?!?! They've got my back & I, theirs. I've found my "sister from another mister" in one of my partners - we're both pranksters. The front staff is learning that the two of us together can be a very bad thing.   ;)

Here's hoping that all is good for you in the upcoming year. I'm hoping that 2013 will continue the trend of being a good year...there are some big events in it for me - my 40th birthday, my DD turns 13 (so help me god), my 15th wedding anniversary. Lots for us to look forward to.

Nope

Too Good not to Share

Enough

I can't read my homepage right now...Yahoo is covering itself in coverage of the massacre of a first grade class. This post has been percolating since Friday, I'm still not completely sure I'm articulating all of what I want to say.

First, as a mother, my heart aches for the families. My son is in 3rd grade and he and his sister are our world. To have that suddenly stolen from you has got to be the worst thing in the world. But on Monday, he will go to school  - and even walk there. Without supervision on the 7 block walk. To revert to hovering, to not to keep on living - it allows evil to inch a little closer to ruling this world.

Second, I hope that we will finally say "ENOUGH!" We have had mass murder after mass murder - Columbine, Wisconsin, Aurora, Sandy Hook, Northern Illinois University, Virginia Tech, Tucson. Maybe it is time for adults to re-examine whether or not the 2nd amendment is applicable to our times. The constitution was not intended to be a static document - the Founding Fathers had the foresight to realize that things may need to change. I would love a conversation on whether or not this needs to be done. I do agree with the gun lovers that guns are not the bottom line cause - but I would love a discussion on how do we minimize the use of guns. Whether that is through taxation (ammo would be my target, pun unintended), licensing, mandating insurance. But we need as a country to stop letting people go "SECOND AMENDMENT!!!!!!" and look and talk about how we, as a society, want to enter the future.

Third, please, oh please, let this shine some light on the shittiness that is mental health coverage here in the USA. Lack of insurance coverage, lack of psychologists and psychiatrists, overfilled psych wards. The ER as a front-line, because of the previous factors.

Let's Review

It is December 14th. Just a smidge over 2 weeks left in the calendar year. I am taking vacation for the week after Christmas.

Do you HONESTLY think we'll be able to get your surgery done before the end of the year? Because if so, you have GOT to share that cloning secret.

FWIW, most surgeons book at least 4-6 weeks out. I think I'm looking at late January for my surgeries. And that's assuming we don't need to fiddle with getting your DM or HTN under control or if we're trying to coordinate with another surgeon.

I need to...

stop looking at my schedule and whining about it.

Yesterday, I previewed my afternoon's schedule at lunch. It looked ugly - lots of colpos, paps, and first OB visits. And double-bookings. With far more new patients than I like (I usually give new patients more time & yesterday there wasn't extra time built in). So the whining commenced.

But WOOT! Multiple cancellations. Scheduled paps who didn't need paps! And all of the new patients were really super nice.

Le sigh

My partner and I both have a newly pregnant (as in sperm cozied up to egg yesterday) patient who is driving us nuts.

I suggested a Xanax salt lick in our office...it's going to be a looooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggg 38 weeks for both of us.

My FAVORITE holiday!

Thanksgiving. My favorite holiday. To me, it is when I need to sit back and reflect on how lucky I am.

I am thankful for my best friend, my husband. I don't what I'd do without him, and I never want to find out.

I am thankful for my two kids, who are growing up into kind and caring people. I have so much fun being their mom.

I am thankful for my health. I still have orthopedic issues, but overall it's good.

I am thankful for a job that I love to do and for an employer who understands that I only want to be part-time for now. And who just ordered me an iPhone. ;)

I am thankful for my dogs, who give us lots of love and slurps.

I am thankful for the roof over my head, the clothes on my back, and the (too much) food in my belly. I recognize that not everyone has the same opportunities as I have had.

I am thankful for my friends, who are wonderful people with big hearts.

Musings on billing

Nymeria is getting fixed today. I sorta wanted to watch, to see a dog hysterectomy. Yes, I'm a geek. I'm sure I could You-Tube it. Take it back, I just spent 15 minutes watching one.

Anyway, I was the one who dropped her off this morning. And of course, there's a consent form to sign...with options. Do I want bloodwork? EKG? IVF? Increased pain control? Laser during surgery? All of course, with extra fees, documented. BTW, I said yes to labs, IVF, and better pain management. No to the EKG & laser - they can use clamps and ties like I do, dammit!  ;)

But it got me thinking about my hysts. I do the majority of them either vaginally or lap-assisted vaginally. And there are all sorts of do-dads that I could use if I so chose. On my LAVHs and LSHs, I prefer the gyrus cutting forceps for mobilizing the uterus and dividing the pedicles. I hate the Ligasure (tissue slips out of it too easily), and have never used the Harmonic Scalpel, so I have no opinion on it. But these instruments are disposable - and costly.

But on my vag hysts, I am old fashioned - clamps and suture. Cheap as all get out (~$2.50 per suture used - most cases I use about 12-15). There are disposable instruments designed for vaginal surgery (my training program had them), but I find that the advantage they claim to bring - decreased OR time - hasn't been true for me.

But would people pay more for the new gadgets? My understanding is that the hospital gets paid a flat facility fee for the hyst, and if I can do the case cheaper, the hospital makes more money. I can just see the uproar if I charged more for better pain management.  ;)

FWIW, I'm employed by the hospital and salaried - I don't make more $$ by doing more work.

One and only post on the election

It's no secret that I am a liberal. I support LGBT rights and proudly call myself a feminist. I am pro-choice, pro-contraception, and pro-equality. As you can probably guess, I voted for Obama/Biden in yesterday's ballot.

I live in a battleground state, rural area. This county is very, very red. Most of the races on my ballot were uncontested Republican.

Here's why I voted for reelection on President Obama.

1. I have a daughter. I hate the fact that I know Lily Ledbetter's name. I hate the fact that my smart, funny, talented daughter still lives in times where she will need to be better than a man in order to be thought his equal. I hate the fact that there are Republicans out there ON RECORD as saying that women don't need the right to vote. Or to be educated. Or that money is not as important to women as to men. Slate had an article recently with quotes from the Taliban and some Republicans...and I couldn't tell the difference between them.

2. I have a son. He's still a decade away from registering with the Selective Service, but I see a Republican party all too eager to declare war, especially ones where I'm having a hard time seeing any upside.

3. Many of my friends are in the LGBT community. Some are single, some are in long-term relationships, some have been married in a few states. They deserve to love and to officially declare that love. They deserve the benefits that accrue to married folks - benefits, ability to visit in the hospital, children. My dearest friend from medical school is a lesbian, in a long-term relationship. They are raising 3 beautiful kids. That couple are my daughter's godparents & I am a godmother to their eldest.  THERE IS NO GOOD REASON FOR THEM TO BE SINGLED OUT LEGALLY.

4. I am an OB-GYN who feels her profession is under attack. Legislators saying what procedures I should be doing, churches saying what meds I should be using. FUCK THAT!!!!!!!!! I go into the exam room, close the door, and it's me and the patient. Nobody else is invited. The end. Lately, however, many politicians seem to think that they know as much about OB-GYN as I do.

5. Fiscal responsibility. Yes, the debt has grown - but much of it can be attributed to moving our wars from a shadow budget to the real budget. The Romney/Ryan tax plans were unrealistic according to nonpartisan groups - it would be LESS fiscally responsible.

6. ACA - It didn't go as far as I hoped it would. Having said that, I understand the political need for babysteps. I want people insured. I want people to have the ability to get worrisome symptoms checked out.

7. Social contract. I do believe that we are our brother's keeper. I want a social net. And no, private charity is not enough. If we are the type of person our dogs think we are, then we care for others. Period. Is there abuse? Of course there is...humans are involved. Having said that, I would rather waste a little bit of my $$ there than see pain.

Longish post.

I'm for sure going to win mother of the year.

The day starts with a phone call from the boy's teacher, wondering why I wouldn't sign something. Kid got caught in a lie, since I had never seen the page.

While I'm running errands, the girl child get home from school. Evidently our garage door keypad needs a new battery. She can't get into the garage. She checks all other doors - locked. So she breaks into our house through a window in her bedroom.

Then, since today is trick or treat, I'm handing out candy. And run out. So I take candy from the boy's tub (he's already home). At least I'm taking the stuff he doesn't like to hand out. Only a few more minutes.

Yay!

My first vag delivery of the month was yesterday!

It was a bad first few weeks of call. I do not aim for a 100% section rate.

2 more weeks

Until my mailbox and recycling bin are free from political ads.

Until I can watch Food Network without seeing a Crossroads ad.

Until I can stop clicking on Grumpy's ads for the guy I voted against (I figure I may as well give Grumpy the clicks and cost the campaign something).

What did I do?

Seems like every other patient today had the floodgates open and tears were pouring out.

Went through several boxes of cheap-ass, scratchy kleenex today.

I half-joke that Xanax and/or Celexa should be in the water supply.

What do you want me to do?

If you list Toradol, codeine, Vicodin, Ultram, NSAIDs, tylenol, and morphine as allergies.

I can't keep you forever on IV Dilaudid...even if you did just have surgery.

I should just keep my big mouth shut

The day after posting about how I like to run on time, comes a day where many patients are very complicated, needy, and talkative. This is not a good combination.

I was behind from the get-go.

On time

Monday, I had office in the morning and OR cases in the afternoon. I finished up my office and then wandered into the surgery area. I was about 45 minutes early.

From the control desk: "You're here already? I just sent your room's team to lunch!"

"Don't worry, I can catch up on my medical records until they come back."

From the CRNA assigned to my room: "You are ALWAYS early!"

I blame my mother...she was extremely anal about being on time and I have the same habit.

WWYD?

Of course it was 20 weeks, not even close to viable. But her fetus had multiple anomalies, confirmed with multiple scans (including MRI). Both MFMs agreed that this was not compatible with life outside the womb. I was either seeing her or signing off on new consults daily.

She came to her visibly upset. Can’t blame her. We needed to talk, and not the usual easy “How ya doin’” type of visit. We needed to talk what she wanted to do with what we knew. Whether she wanted to terminate or to carry. Whether she wanted to do it in a big city, where anonymity was likely or here, in BFE…where it was a risk to her. If she wanted me to help her, or someone else…not an easy conversation. But a much needed one.

She decided. I supported her in the choice she made for her and the child. I’m not even going to tell you what choice she made…except to tell you I delivered two children of hers. One lived…and one died.

The Gas Passer Said WHAT?!?!

Last case of the day, a nurse was putting cricoid pressure on my patient's throat to aid in intubation. The anesthesia doc got her tubed and then was trying to pull the stylet out of the tube. He then said the following line to the roomful of women.

"I can't pull out when you're holding the long, thin thing!"

And then he wonders why we all start cracking up.

Why OB-Gyn?

Well, why not? I can tell you this - I could not be any other type of doctor.

I floated through the pre-clinical years uncertain as to what I wanted to specialize in. Maybe peds, maybe infectious disease. No way in hell was I going to enter OB or surgery. I knew, just knew that I would hate the OR.

Third year rolls around. My first month is outpatient family medicine. I discover that I dislike sick people. I hate managing chronic diseases (now take 200 mg of  drug X daily instead of 100 mg). Now, this is a problem seeing as how I WAS IN MEDICAL SCHOOL!!!!!!! I liked the procedures he did (he did some minor office surgery - I saw a vasectomy and toe nail removal in his office) and I liked the pregnant patients. hmmmm..........

Suffered through peds in November and December. My daughter was 7 months old. I was assigned to the infants floor. There was a shit-load of RSV admissions. I think I scrubbed my epidermis off, I was so scared of bringing it home to her. I was, however, the BEST at getting the RSV sample - because I was a mom already, I was really, really good at sucking snot out of nasal passages. The other students were too scared to go deep enough.

Surgery next. I had been dreading these two months. I even arranged to be placed at the hospital where there were no residents - and therefore no student call. I knew that I wasn't interested in surgery, might as well make the months as easy as possible. I FUCKING LOVED SURGERY!!!! I had a blast in the OR. I scrubbed in on some interesting cases: a Whipple, some ortho cases, many bread-and-butter choles. This was not expected. Not at all. It blew my exhausted mind.

OB-GYN came next. Had the gyn month first, again, I loved the OR. Hated my bitchy resident, but loved the surgeries. She was truly the epitome of the stereotypical OB resident.  Bitch. OB month next - again, loved being on L&D. Got to catch babies because the interns were so over doing work. The residents this month were better.

The rest of the year was psych (shoot me now), neuro (nice docs, but not for me), and internal medicine (aka eternal medicine, because all they did was round forever).

Medicine as a field is nice because there are different niches for different people. I am in the right field for me - I have a surgeon's mentality but I'm more touchy-feely than one. My patients generally are very healthy. I get to know them very well. And you know what, I can usually fix what is wrong.

I am an OB-GYN.

Stay Classy, Republicans.

I do NOT want a world where this is considered acceptable.

Just no.

Out of the mouths of babes, part zillionth

So since we've moved, we've needed new dentists and doctors. I took my rugrats today to meet Dr. Smith, their new pediatrician. She did a physical on each of them.

Tonight, at dinner, the boy was talking about his day. And he tells my DH, "The doctor looked at my PENIS!!!"

*sigh*

ACOG

My professional society is usually FOS and useless, but they published this yesterday (taken from their site, acog.org):

Statement on Rape and Pregnancy

August 20, 2012

Washington, DC -- Recent remarks by a member of the US House of Representatives suggesting that “women who are victims of ‘legitimate rape’ rarely get pregnant” are medically inaccurate, offensive, and dangerous.

Each year in the US, 10,000–15,000 abortions occur among women whose pregnancies are a result of reported rape or incest. An unknown number of pregnancies resulting from rape are carried to term. There is absolutely no veracity to the claim that “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to shut that whole thing down.” A woman who is raped has no control over ovulation, fertilization, or implantation of a fertilized egg (ie, pregnancy). To suggest otherwise contradicts basic biological truths.  

Any person forced to submit to sexual intercourse against his or her will is the victim of rape, a heinous crime. There are no varying degrees of rape. To suggest otherwise is inaccurate and insulting and minimizes the serious physical and psychological repercussions for all victims of rape.

---------------------------------------------------------

This statement needs to be SCREAMED into the wind. Pregnancy can result from rape. Our vaginas do NOT secrete a magical anti-pregnancy solution....which is why birth control is oh so useful.

Can we PLEASE get better science education in our schools? Sex ed too, while we're at it?

I feel for Missouri...

Friends

True blue friends are more precious than gold. A few weeks ago, I was lucky enough to host one of my dearest friends from college, his wife and kids.

Haven't seen him since summer of 2006, when we took a trip to the Pacific NW to visit him. Hardly ever talk to him, but we email frequently. Yet it was as if only a day or two had passed...stayed up far too late chatting, the four adults playing "nerd games" (think along the order of Settlers of Catan), drinking beer, and talking to all hours.

Sometimes friendship is just being there.

The intertoobz

Just for fun, I googled myself. I have an uncommon first name and a rare last name...what I type in Google is almost always related to me.

Evidently, I'm a neurologist. Had the correct address and phone of my last job. Watch out, Grumpy - Yahoo says I can haz a reflex hammer!

Med school memories...

I am an auditory learner. This means I had damned near perfect attendance in med school lectures. And I sat near the front.

Second year, we got microbiology. And the majority of the lectures ended up being done by the low man on the totem pole new hire. He was young and relatively hot. Lived in rumpled jeans and rumpled polo shirts. This was not a bad thing, from my POV.

So he would talk about various microorganisms and the awful diseases they could cause. AND EVERY SINGLE TIME the last phrases would be:

"And then you die. And that's bad." Always in the same sing-song cadence.

So for all of the anti-vaxxers out there...remember that.

New member of the family

Meet Nymeria, a lab puppy we got from the local shelter. Zoe, our Chow, seems to think the kid is Ok.

Great day

Happens when the MA comes out of EVERY new patient and says "Sorry."

OB

Is the happiest place in the world...until it isn't.

A former co-worker is in the ICU, very unstable now from AFE. She was only 25 weeks along, so her baby is also unstable. The nicest girl, with a nice family, sweet hubby. My FB PM and cell phone are exploding with L&D nurses sending me updates.

Fuck.

Argh!

When you come in for your first OB visit...as the last patient of the day...tell me that your LMP was ~7-8 weeks ago...then tell me that you were on a category X drug until 2 weeks ago...and I scan you and see 15 week twins...

This does not make for a happy doctor.

Thank-you.

Head, meet desk.

23

Years since you died, Grandma. Still miss you.

update

Have moved into new house. Appliances were delivered and are working. Kids' rooms are both painted...the boy wanted red and the girl wanted blue. We only did one red wall...it would have been too much to have all 4 walls RED. I love the blue DD picked out, I'm already making plans for when she moves out.  ;)

Tore my rotator cuff...can barely move my arm. Hopefully conservative treatment works...I start work again in 3 weeks & I'm operating the first day! I'm on activity restrictions, so I'm basically useless. I'm definitely a light-weight: 1 Vicodin makes me high. Don't understand how people want to take this on a regular basis. Have an appointment with an orthopod on Friday. I think I keep them in business.  ;)

You get...

the most INTERESTING mail when you are an OB-GYN.

Some "personal lubricant" just sent samples to my house with a hysterical introductory letter. DH & I both got a good laugh out of the letter before pitching it.

Random thoughts

We have a shit-ton of books. 9 bookcases plus the built-in wall of shelves in our den. 90% of what we move will end up being books. Most of the rest will be kitchen stuff.  ;)

A fever of 102.5 makes you feel like shit.

Whoever thought it was a good idea to have a railing on the deck was a freaking idiot. I've been painting it for awhile and still have too many slats to go.

It felt so wrong throwing away the study guides to the USMLE parts 1, 2, and 3. But really, do I need it?

I have got to get around to tossing my notes from my master's degree classes. They are currently sitting in my closet.

Only one more week until M-day. Ugh.

And I should NOT have spent so much time reading the Song of Ice and Fire series...5000+ pages!

Made me giggle

Pancakes and syrup.

5:15 Last night

Pregnant caller. "I've had a head cold for a week."

Me. "And..."

"I need antibiotics."

"Any other symptoms?"

"Just a really runny nose."

"Have you tried a decongestant? Or saline spray?"

"No. I KNOW that I'm sick & I need an antibiotic."

"I won't call in an antibiotic for anyone that I have not examined."

"Fine. I have an appointment tomorrow with MY doctor. She'll give it to me." Insert snotty, entitled tone here.

*sigh*

R.I.P.

Ray Bradbury. Thank you for the hours of pleasure you gave me.

This is what drugs will do to you

If you show up on L&D high as a kite in the wee hours of the morning, we will ask for a urine sample - for both a UA (since you are complaining of contractions) and a tox screen. (and not surprisingly, the second test lit up lit a tree at Christmas)

I will say though, it works better when you remove the undies first before peeing into the cup. :D But don't worry, we have the ugly-ass maternity panties you can have to go home in.

ER Mom's law

Newton has gravity - what goes up must come down. I hear by propose a new law, call it ER Mom's Law: What goes in must come out.

So please do not come to L&D at 4 am complaining that you're leaking if you had sex about an hour ago. Stuff goes in, stuff runs out. There's a reason it's called the wet spot.

12

Here are you at age 3 with your cousin. And now, you are an amazing 12 year old. I am so proud of the young lady that you have become. Happy birthday, Boo. I love you.

Funny story

So I was operating post-call. I had a late night delivery, so I decided to sleep in an extra couple of minutes and forgo my morning shower. I got dressed as usual and walked into the OR. Now, I never wear perfume because there are people sensitive to smell and I don't want to precipitate an attack.

The scrub was next to the door, arranging her instruments. "Um, you smell good! What perfume are you wearing?"

"Baby powder scented deodorant."

"Oh."

Please?

If you are a FP doc, and you are seeing a patient for irregular periods, AND you send me your office note...


noting the date of LMP is useful. Really. You had seen her multiple times in the last 6 months...nowhere is documented an LMP.

*headthunk*

Happy Birthday

Sweetie. I love you.


And I'm STILL younger than you!!!

;)

Sigh.

Pinworms is NOT a reason to show up on L&D after midnight at a hospital your OB doesn't practice at.

Thank you.

FHTs are fine. You can call your own doctor in the morning to deal with this. An extra 8 hours won't kill you...since no pharmacy around here is open anyway.

MOC is stupid

I am going to again bitch about the MOC. I planning on mocking the MOC.

MOC, for the non-medical among us, stands for Maintenance of Certification. IOW, a shakedown from ABOG to get more money out of me even though I am board-certified. $895/year to take a test that has NOTHING to do with medicine.

I had some free time yesterday, so I started on the test. The idea is that you read some articles and then answer 4 questions on every article. Some articles are good & actually are worth reading. Many are a complete and utter waste of time. Most questions on any article are STUPID!!!!!!! For example, one question asked us to find and correct a FUCKING TYPOGRAPHICAL ERROR in the article. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!?! Yeah, THAT is helping me become a better doctor.

And the other thing I want to bitch about, if I pay damned near $900 for your stupid test, ALL of the articles better be available to me for free. I don't subscribe to NEJM or the Lancet. I don't want to pay for 6 of their articles (don't worry, I have a work-around involving my DH's job at a university). I don't want to pay for an article from a pediatric journal. Give me the articles for free online. The Grey Journal allows it (of course, the one journal that I get & they are the ones with the free access to MOC), why can't the others?

Don't drop them...

Mom's having surgery soon at Mecca. I've got vacation scheduled so I can be there. She's now 3 years out from diagnosis, a smidge over 2 years out from the ureteronephrectomy that was her first surgery for this. Now she's going to have a radical cystectomy, ileal conduit, and pelvic node dissection. All I know is that I don't want to be her surgeon...every single belly surgery she has had in the last 20 years, the doc has come out and said it was one of the worst cases he's ever done.

Officially accepted employment at the place I've been locumsing. Part-time! Woo-hoo! 4 other docs in the practice! Plus, they've agreed to part-time, so I think this will be better for my family. No more spending night after night in the hospital.

Moving after the school year finishes. God, we have a lot of crap. Wonder if the kids will even notice if I toss half of it? My house is cleaner than it has ever been - it's on the market & being shown. Just don't look under my bed - when I decluttered, that's where a lot of stuff went. Thank god for dust ruffles!

A trend I can do without:

Taking pictures of (insert bodily fluid output) on your cell phone.

Trust me, I really don't want to see your mucus plug floating in your toilet.


NOT. NECESSARY.

Thanks!

Oops...

If you are showing your home...having a textbook titled "Vaginal Surgery" next to the tub PROBABLY isn't the best thing to have. Yes, it's my bathtime reading material.


Shit.

AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

So we've bought a new home, are working on selling our current home, and are working FT (both of us). I am still locumsing, seeing if this is a good spot for me. We are both commuting 2+ hours daily until school ends, when we will move. June can't come fast enough.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my new kitchen! Can't wait to move in! I honestly think my happiest moments are in the kitchen, surrounded by music and my family while I'm puttering around, fixing dinner.

I was warned

That The Lorax would induce migraines. By the end, I was thinking the d-drug sounded like a good idea.

The only good thing about it was listening to my boy laugh.

Smirk...

So on spring break, I'm using the hotel's computer to surf the net. I try to get onto my blog.

Firewalled!

So I tried other ways. Google didn't work. Using the link from Grumpy's site didn't help.

Evidently this site "may contain inappropriate material".

Do you want to know what post caused it?

This one.

I told DH this & he looked at me and said "That is one of least objectionable posts you've made! They didn't comment on you writing the word fuck in damned near every post?

I am SICK of the STUPIDITY

Utah.

Virginia

Republican primaries

Sandra Fluke

Sex is part of the human condition. It's also a hell of a lot of fun. And most people having sex are aware of the consequences and take measures to prevent adverse ones. And we, as adults, need to educate the kids in sexual matters - BEFORE they start dating. Yes, you can get knocked-up the first time. Oral sex does NOT prevent STDs. Maybe if you've had chlamydia 3 times with this guy, you may want to reconsider bumping naughties.

But there seems to be a loud group of people who are anti-sex.  And anti-education.  We know that abstinence only education fails miserably. It's really bad here in bum-fuck fly-over country - I about had a coronary at the school's open house when they talked about the health class.

These are the folks that I fear. For they seem to want to increase government to tell doctors as to what tests are needed in pregnancy. What meds should be covered under insurance plans. What may NOT be spoken of in class, even if a student directly asks.

I have a friend who is an ex-pat in Canada...starting to sound tempting.

LOL

Little old ladies. Two types.
First ones are the stereotypical cute grandmas, whom you can just see baking chocolate chip cookies.
The others are crotchety old bats, cranky as hell.

Had one of the first type yesterday. I wanna look like that when I'm 90+!

When I say...

Nothing in the vagina, I MEAN NOTHING in the VAGINA!!!

No fingers. No tampons. No toys. And certainly, NO PENISES!!! I don't care if you are celebrating your birthday/anniversary/baby daddy's jail release/Festivus. Nothing goes up your vagina.

I don't want to hear about your baby daddy complaining that the suture from my cerclage is scratching his wee-wee. I don't want a 3 am call from the ER telling me that your vaginal cuff eviscerated and there's bowel coming out of your vagina (a mood-killer if I've ever heard of one).

Just don't. Please?

Ramblings

OB should be a happy floor.

There are a lot of whiny-ass people in this world.

Too many women have too much free time to pay attention to every drop of vaginal discharge that they make.

Blue is NOT my favorite color.

I've been working only for a few weeks and already my damned knee hurts. I still am hoping for an AKA.

I half want to strangle my daughter tonight. Am not looking forward to the teen years...

OB-GYN stages of life

Teens: Have "heavy periods" but really just want to get on the pill without Mom knowing that they are having sex.
20s: Having babies
30s: Done having babies. Want to be done with periods too.
40s. Fibroids -> menorrhagia -> hysterectomy
50s: The HOT FLASHES, OMG!!!
60s: It's falling out.

Just remembered

How goofy looking newborn babies look.

Every. Last. One.

And yes, I include my kids.

Ode to Nyquil

Nyquil, Nyquil,
with you I will
sleep through the night.

Nyquil, Nyquil,
You taste like ass.
Lots of time will pass
Until I'm conscious  again.

Nyquil, Nyquil
I'm still feeling you
12 hours later.
Good thing I am not on call today.

Bad timing...

So I'm down there, just checking out (yet another) vag discharge. And the gal's phone rings...except she's using her bra as her pocket & her ringtone is her friends saying "Girl, WAZZUP?"

"Um, your boob is talking"

We both started laughing.

Stupid researcher

I was reading the OB/Gyn News (yes, an actual journal) the other day. It gives brief reviews of conferences, important articles, and some commentary.

Robotics is a big issue in surgical fields right now. As you can guess, there's a lot of crap research being done on it. One such paper was presented at the AAGL conference recently. The researcher is QUOTED as saying "Well, if you eliminate those complications, robotic hysterectomy has the same complication rate as laparoscopic or vaginal hysterectomies."

WTF?????? Yes, they had similar complication rates for many things, but there is one particular risk of robotic surgery that the others DO NOT HAVE. Period.  And then to claim that robotic surgery is as safe as traditional minimally invasive surgery? Bullshit.

The scientist in me died a little bit.

8 years...

8 years ago, at this ungodly hour of the morning, I met my son. Happy birthday to the other guy who stole my heart!

Balls in the air

So Mom's doing chemo again before the definitive surgery. Thus far, she has had only 1/2 of the planned doses because her counts plummet and it takes longer than expected for them to recover. And yes, that is with the bone marrow stimulators. So far, she has avoided any major catastrophes, which is an improvement over last time. Her definitive surgery is scheduled for April at Ivory Tower.

Hubby found a job, just barely within commuting distance so we are staying here until the end of the school year. I've accepted a locum-to-permanent job near there, will be starting next month. If I like the group and the hospital, they are open to me working part-time. It's a much bigger group than what I was in, so call is less frequent. The office itself is open from 6am to 6 pm, docs pick what hours work for them...so even on the days that I would work, I could arrange for afternoons to be free for Mommy time. I'm cautiously optimistic that this will be a good spot for me. We are going down there in a few weeks for the weekend to spend time with the docs and their families.

Working on sorting through accumulated stuff. We have a lot of crap. My girl never did like playing with dolls, we have over a dozen Barbies (gifts from people who didn't know her well). I've lost track of the number of Matchbox cars...but I do know that stepping on a stray one hurts like hell. And BOOKS! My husband calls me a printwhore...and I have the bookcases to prove it. Probably should thin them out...